Breaking Up with Japan - My First Travel Love

I have the most vivid memories from my childhood of my great aunt, Jeanette, telling me and my sister stories of her travels after World War 2 around the world as a schoolteacher on U.S. military bases. She had been everywhere as a single woman in the 50s and 60s that I dream of going today. As a young child, the stories that made the biggest impact on my life were those of her time in Japan.

It was always hard to not be impressed by Kyoto in the Fall - by https://www.flickr.com/photos/gacks/ — It was always hard to not be impressed by Kyoto in the Fall – by https://www.flickr.com/photos/gacks/

I was fascinated with everything about Japan, from the indigenous Ainu of Hokkaido, to its feudal history of warring clans and court families. Once I started junior high school, my family started hosting exchange students from a Japanese high school, and I started studying Japanese when I was in high school. I was also able to spend two summers in Japan – the first on a Japanese Ministry of Education scholarship, and the second via a sister city youth exchange program. Both times were deep in the sticks – and I absolutely loved it. To say it changed my life would be an understatement.

Hashimoto-city, Wakayama: My first home in Japan, circa 1998 - by https://www.flickr.com/photos/gacks/ — Hashimoto-city, Wakayama: My first home in Japan, circa 1998 – by https://www.flickr.com/photos/gacks/

Kimitoge station - 5 minutes walk from my home base in the Japanappalachia. — Kimitoge station – 5 minutes walk from my home base in the Japanappalachia.

I have always had a facility for learning new languages, and by the time I entered college I had a great command of the language from my cumulative time there – and I went on to major in Japanese language and literature. It was an easy choice for me to study abroad there on a fairly prestigious program at one of the top universities in the country.

When I began my year abroad in Japan, my relationship with it started to unravel. I was unhappy with my professors, who I thought demanded too much from me. I was unhappy living with a host family; I felt it was a slap in the face to go from the freedom of living on a college campus (especially as a recently out of the closet gay man) to living with a conservative, seventy-something couple 90 minutes from my college campus. And I resented my peers, gallivanting around Brisbane, Bologna, or Cape Town for credit while I busted my brain learning hundreds of new characters weekly.

I spent a lot of time commuting on these green green subway seats - by https://www.flickr.com/photos/mark_s_richardson/ — I spent a lot of time commuting on these green green subway seats – by https://www.flickr.com/photos/mark_s_richardson/

I was sick of feeling like an outsider freak show, understanding everything the notoriously conservative Kyoto residents were saying anything about me, but too afraid to break cultural norms and make them lose face. I wanted to be back in the sticks with the working class Japanese I had grown to love during my initial time spent in the country – not in tightwad Kyoto.

The Fire Festival was amazing to witness, but also a logistical clusterf*ck - by https://www.flickr.com/photos/threepinner/ — The Fire Festival was amazing to witness, but also a logistical clusterf*ck – by https://www.flickr.com/photos/threepinner/

So I acted out when I lived in Japan. I led a group of renegade students of Japanese – the only ten or so of us on the program that weren’t studying Japanese for anime purposes – in a revolt. We stayed out all night in karaoke rooms, refused to study hard, and partook in revelry in places we probably shouldn’t have (my campus was across the street from the former Heian Imperial Palace, so…we got drunk and smoked sketchy Iranian hash there…a lot).

I always enjoyed Japan's seedier nightlife, away from its squeaky clean facade - by https://www.flickr.com/photos/enishi-kyoto/ — I always enjoyed Japan’s seedier nightlife, away from its squeaky clean facade – by https://www.flickr.com/photos/enishi-kyoto/

I did get to see a fair amount of the country – I made several trips to see my very first Japanese host family in mountainous Wakayama Prefecture, home of Koya-san, the best Buddhist pilgrimage site in the country, and…the notorious beach from the documentary “The Cove.” I visited each prefecture of the island of Shikoku, where I got to sit in some amazing hot springs, and climb the mountain temple of Konpira-san. I also toured the castles and volcanoes of Kyushu, staying off the beaten path in the backwaters of Kumamoto and Saga prefectures. I found a really killer reggae bar in the sleepy town of Karatsu with some super-progressive Zainichi Koreans (Japanese citizens of Korean descent).

Koya-san in the rain, Wakayama, Japan - by https://www.flickr.com/photos/ionushi/ — Koya-san in the rain, Wakayama, Japan – by https://www.flickr.com/photos/ionushi/

But what I didn’t find was a desire to keep living in Japan. It’s not that I don’t love Japan, it’s just that I’m not IN love with Japan. While I was living in Korea, several years after my year abroad there, I took a bunch of my coworkers on the fast ferry from Busan to Fukuoka, and spent a long weekend in Nagasaki. I really enjoyed being back when I knew I didn’t have to live there. My partner has been to Japan also, as a sailor in the Navy, so he has very different experiences there (he actually climbed Mt. Fuji) – and I know we’ll both want to go back someday. There are so many things I didn’t get to see – like Hokkaido’s ice festivals, Sado Island taiko drummers, the ultimate ruin porn that is Hashima/Gunkanjima, and the gnarly, thousand year old pine forests of Yaku-shima. Maybe the distance between us will prove to be too tempting one of these years…